Well, Craig and I are getting ready to start round 2 of fertility treatments. Round 1 was back in the beginning of June and resulted in a pregnancy. Sadly, the pregnancy terminated after six and a half weeks. We may never know if it was purely chemical, an ectopic pregnancy, or if it was just a bad pregnancy. Anyway, had I not started going for these treatments that wouldn't have happened. It turns out that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which is genetic, in my case. Because of this I produce more testosterone than I require and not enough estrogen. The side effects, to be blunt, suck. I look like a 13 year old because of all of the breakouts, and I am a complete psychopath. Not how you want to feel when you are struggling to conceive... you aren't depressed enough that you can't perform the simplest function of the female body, so let's add hormonal mood swings and acne to the mix. Nice.
So, after letting my body rest and reset, and having a great vacation with my parents, brothers, and husband, we are ready to roll again. So today I made some calls and set up my ultrasound and blood work for day 12 (or Ovulation Day, as I like to call it) and an HSG (hysterosalpingogram). The HSG requires dye to be injected into the uterus and fallopian tubes and then watched via an x-ray machine. This will determine if there are any blockages or abnormalities that we missed or couldn't be seen in the ultrasounds. So that is next Wednesday and the ultrasound and bw is next Friday. I still need to call and order my Ovidrel shot. This is what makes me ovulate. It requires an injection into my stomach by my belly button, and a trip to my parents' house, because my mom is the lucky one to give me the shot.
Going through all of the motions to set up the appointments is easy. Right now, I'm nervous... it's unheard of to have Clomid treatments work after one cycle (only a 20% chance). We were lucky the first time, what if it doesn't work this time... what if I do get pregnant and lose it again... all of the "what-ifs" are conspiring to make me lose my mind. I know that I am evil during the Clomid cycle as it is, but now I feel like this on top of it... We're in for a bumpy ride! Prayers are always welcome, just know that if I bite your head off or I seem distracted... it's not you... it's the hormones!
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